November 11th I met with my oncologist, Dr. Stephen Abo. The suggested course of treatment for my triple negative breast cancer is: eight doses of chemotherapy every two weeks. The first four treatments will be a combination of Adriamycin and Cytoxan and the last four will be Taxol. He said I will lose my hair after about the second treatment, and I may get a little nauseous, but he'll give me anti-nausea medication. The Taxol isn't as bad, apparently. I'm glad my boyfriend was with me for this appointment because I stopped hearing anything after "lose your hair." My thoughts are rambling: am I going to look like one of those sick, cancer patients with no hair, pale skin and big circles under my eyes? Will I lose the fifteen pounds I gained in Italy (that would be awesome!) I am so scared, how will I get through this? I can't tell my mother, she is going to fall apart. I'm to start chemo in seven days, provided the CT scan of my chest & abdomen, bone scan and 2d echocardiogram all come back clean. Waiting for the test results is harrowing. I keep wondering if I am going to live through this or if cancer is going to kill me.