These horrible drains are coming out of my left side, i.e. three long plastic tubes with pouches at the end that capture the excess fluid from my breast. Every day I have to empty them into a measuring cup and record the amount and color of the fluid. I've told the fluid would look like kool-aid. It started out red and now, nearly two weeks later, it's a smelly, light orange. My plastic surgeon, Dr. Ross Cooperman, recently removed one drain, leaving the other two for a couple more weeks. I texted the photos to Dr. Cooperman because I was concerned with the leakage. He reassured me it's normal and reminded me that I have to pinch the tubes as I drain them so they won't clot and back up. I am wearing button down shirts, because I can't lift my left arm over my head after the lymph nodes were removed. The only loose, inexpensive shirts I could find were pajama tops at H&M. I pin my drains to the inside of the top hoping no one will notice the large lump on my side. Having drains is not sexy; I feel like a circus freak - I have one regular breast, one non-breast, and a lump on my side that looks like a breast. Seeing plastic tubing coming out of me is dreadful. I feel invaded by this beast - plastic should not be coming out of my body! Yet it is a surreal reminder of what has just happened to me. Showering is difficult and humiliating, I have to bend myself in awkward positions, holding the tubing in one hand, making sure the site doesn't get wet, while washing myself with the other hand. Shaving is impossible - I am happy to see growth but I can't do anything about the hair on my legs, not yet. Here I am: hairy-legged, bloody-tubed, pajama-wearing, lopsided-breast-circus-freak for a few more weeks; what a low point of my life.